Tag: relationship

Books, Let Them Theory, Mindfulness, Relationships

Let Them Theory: Navigating Power Struggles

Corie Muldoon

Ever notice how some conflicts feel less like disagreements and more like arm-wrestling matches? That’s a power struggle.

It happens when two people stop trying to solve a problem and start trying to win.

What It Looks Like

  • Conversations that go nowhere
  • The same fight on repeat
  • Feeling like you can’t back down without “losing”
  • Avoiding someone because talking feels pointless

The Let Them Theory Connection

Mel Robbins’s “Let Them” theory is simple but revolutionary: sometimes the best response isn’t to fight back or convince someone—it’s to let them be them.

It’s asking: Do I need to address this power struggle directly, or is letting it go the smarter move? Here’s the truth most people miss: Not every battle needs to be fought. Sometimes the most powerful move is refusing to play the game altogether.

When you stop wrestling for control, you stop giving that struggle your energy.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • Is this person willing to have an honest conversation?
  • Am I trying to change them or protect my peace?
  • What happens if I just… let them be wrong?

The Real Work

Power struggles end when one person stops struggling—and that person doesn’t have to be both of you.

Here’s what actually happens: When you step out of the fight, you take back your power. You’re no longer reacting to them, defending yourself, or waiting for them to change their mind. You’re just… not playing. That’s not weakness. That’s strategy.

The person who can walk away is the one with all the power in the room. So the real work isn’t convincing them you’re right. It’s deciding that your peace matters more than winning the argument.

Your move:

Notice where you’re arm-wrestling this week in conversation. Then ask yourself if winning is worth it?

Here’s where to start: If the relationship matters long-term (family, close friends, partners), take space first to cool down, then set a clear boundary. If respect isn’t there and energy keeps draining, walking away might be your answer.

Either way, give yourself time to cope and come up with a game plan—because the real victory is reclaiming your peace.

Personal Note:

I’ve been noticing power struggles everywhere lately—with family, at work. Once you see the pattern, you can’t unsee it.

The wildest part? Most of us were never taught how to handle conflict without turning it into a competition. But know you have the power to walk away and reframe what something means to you.

Featured Series, Mental Health, Relationships

Sowing Connection: Building Supportive Relationships That Help Mental Health Bloom

Corie Muldoon
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

Humans are wired for connection. Research consistently shows that strong, supportive relationships are one of the most powerful predictors of mental health and life satisfaction.

Yet in our busy, digital world, meaningful connections often get neglected until we desperately need them.

The Mental Health Power of Connection

Quality relationships don’t just make us feel good—they literally change our brain chemistry and stress response:

  • Strong social connections reduce the risk of depression by 30%
  • Supportive relationships lower cortisol levels and blood pressure
  • People with strong social ties live longer & recover faster from illness
  • Connection activates release of oxytocin, naturally reducing anxiety

Seeds of Connection to Plant Today

1. Deep Listening

The Science: When we feel truly heard, our nervous system calms and stress hormones decrease. Active listening strengthens trust and emotional bonds.

Plant the seed: In your next conversation, put away distractions and practice the “80/20 rule”—listen 80% of the time, speak 20%. Ask follow-up questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “Tell me more about that.”

2. Vulnerability in Small Doses

The Science: Sharing authentic experiences creates psychological safety and deepens bonds. Researcher Brené Brown found that vulnerability is essential for meaningful connection.

Plant the seed: Share one genuine feeling or struggle with a trusted person this week. Start small—maybe how you felt during a challenging moment at work or a worry you’ve been carrying.

3. Consistent Check-ins

The Science: Regular, predictable contact builds secure attachment and creates a safety net for mental health challenges.

Plant the seed: Choose one person to check in with weekly. Send a simple text: “Thinking of you—how’s your week going?” Consistency matters more than lengthy conversations.

4. Protecting Your Energy

The Science: Learning to say no to draining interactions preserves your mental energy and creates space for supportive relationships to flourish.

Plant the seed: Practice saying “I need to think about that” instead of immediately saying yes to requests. This simple phrase gives you time to consider what truly serves your wellbeing.

Nurturing Different Types of Connections

Acquaintance-level: Smile at neighbors, make small talk with cashiers. These micro-connections boost mood and create a sense of community belonging.

Friend-level: Schedule regular activities, remember important events in their lives, and be consistent in your communication.

Close relationships: Practice emotional honesty, offer support during difficult times, and celebrate successes together.

When Relationships Feel Challenging

Remember that not every relationship will bloom, and that’s okay. Some connections are meant to be seasonal. Focus your energy on relationships that feel mutual, supportive, and energizing. It’s better to have three deep, meaningful connections than twenty superficial ones.

This Week’s Connection Challenge

Choose one relationship seed to plant this week:

  • Have one conversation where you listen more than you speak
  • Share something authentic with a trusted friend
  • Send a heartfelt message to someone you’ve been thinking about
  • Say no to something that will drain your mental energy

Notice how tending to your relationships affects your overall mood and stress levels.

Next week: “Creating Sanctuaries” Simple ways to transform your living space into a mental health sanctuary.

Remember, while supportive relationships are crucial for mental health, they can’t replace professional support when needed. If you’re experiencing persistent mental health symptoms, consult with a healthcare provider. See free resources here

Sowing Connection: Building Supportive Relationships That Help Mental Health Bloom | Core by Corie

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Featured Series, Finance, Relationships

Building Better Finances Together: A Couple’s Guide

Corie Muldoon

Talking about money with your partner can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be.

After years of learning (sometimes the hard way), I’ve discovered that building strong finances as a couple requires open communication.

It also involves creating shared systems that work for both of you.

Here are our tried-and-true tips for creating financial harmony in your relationship:

1. The Weekly Money Date

Schedule a regular 30-minute chat about finances. Keep it light – we do ours over Sunday coffee. Review your spending, celebrate wins, and tackle any concerns early. This prevents stress from building up and keeps you both in sync.

2. Create a Shared Vision

Before diving into budgets, talk about your dreams. What do you want to build together? A home? Travel adventures? Early retirement? Understanding each other’s financial goals makes daily money decisions easier and more meaningful.

3. Divide and Conquer (But Stay Connected)

Play to your strengths. In our relationship, I handle rental income and expense tracking while my partner manages our personal account. The key? We both stay informed about the full picture through our weekly check-ins.

4. Set Up Your Success System

Create a simple shared system:

  • Use a joint spreadsheet for tracking income & expenses

  • Use a shared credit card for easy expense tracking, pay card off weekly

  • Agree on a percentage % of income to move into joint savings account for taxes and investments

  • Share login access to all important accounts

  • Touch base before making big purchases. Do we need it or do we want it? The goal is to make more than we’re spending each week.

  • Set up automatic payments to investment accounts

5. Celebrate Progress Together

Track your joint financial wins, no matter how small. We touch base on our wins at our weekly meeting. From paying off a credit card to maxing out a Roth IRA account. It keeps the money journey positive and motivating.

6. Have Each Other’s Backs

Sometimes life throws curveballs. Create an emergency fund together and discuss how you’ll handle unexpected expenses before they happen. This creates security and trust in your financial partnership.

Remember, building better finances as a couple isn’t about having identical money styles. It’s about creating a system that works for both of you.

Start with one of these tips this week and build from there. Your relationship (and your wallet) will thank you.

Comment your favorite money tips below!

Relationships

10 Positive Thoughts for Building Confidence in Your Relationship

Corie Muldoon

A healthy relationship starts with positive thoughts.

Bring awareness to your mind’s chatter.

Are your thoughts positive or negative? Are they helping or hurting you?

Weeds vs Good Seeds

We are the farmer, and our mind is the land.

It’s our daily duty to:

  1. Pull weeds (notice negative thoughts, work through them, let go)
  2. Plant good seeds (think positive thoughts)
  3. Water seeds daily (repeat positive thoughts with emotion)

Good Seeds for Confidence

Here are some positive thoughts to help you grow confidence, certainty, and security in your relationship. Repeat them daily with full faith.

1. “I trust myself and my partner.”

2. “Our relationship is strong and resilient.”

3. “I am worthy of love and respect.”

4. “We communicate openly and honestly.”

5. “I choose to focus on the moment and let go of worries about the past or future.”

6. “Our bond grows stronger with each passing day.”

7. “I am secure in our love and commitment to each other.”

8. “We navigate challenges together, as a team.”

9. “I celebrate our unique connection and relationship.”

10. “I am enough, and our relationship is enough.”

By adopting these mantras, you’ll cultivate a more confident and secure mindset, allowing you to nurture a healthier, happier relationship.

Relationships

Building Emotional Intimacy: A Couples Guide

Corie Muldoon

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we’ll be touching on relationships this month!

Emotional intimacy is the sharing of thoughts and feelings with another person in a way that is… safe, trusting, and vulnerable. It is a key aspect of interpersonal relationships.

What does emotional intimacy involve?

  • Feeling close to another person
  • Sharing personal feelings
  • Receiving personal validation
  • Being open and honest with each other
  • Sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings

Strong emotional intimacy comes from showing up emotionally for someone consistently over a long period of time.

When we show up for someone emotionally, we’re making a deposit into their emotional piggy bank. Make enough deposits = something of true value.

Here are some ways to build emotional intimacy, starting with smaller steps:

Daily Connection:

  • 10-minute check-ins about your days
  • Share one good thing and one challenge each day
  • Physical touch without sexual pressure (hand holding, hugs, light touches)
  • Express appreciation for specific things you notice

Activities Together:

  • Cook a meal together
  • Take walks and talk
  • Try a new hobby or class together
  • Create shared goals or projects

Deeper Connection:

  • Share fears and hopes
  • Ask about each other’s feelings beyond surface level
  • Show vulnerability about your own emotions
  • Listen without trying to fix
  • Share memories of why you fell for each other

Small Daily Gestures:

  • Send thoughtful texts
  • Leave little notes
  • Do small favors
  • Express genuine compliments
  • Ask about their feelings/thoughts

Remember to:

  • Start small and build gradually
  • Be patient with the process
  • Focus on quality time without distractions
  • Share your appreciation when they make efforts

A little bit everyday adds up.

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Healthy Habits, Mindfulness, Relationships

15 Tips for a Healthier Relationship

Corie Muldoon
  1. Follow the 100/0 rule. Give 100% and expect 0%. Your hard work and dedication to the relationship will bring self-fulfillment and happiness, not what the other person does for you.

  2. Show up for yourself so that you can show up in your relationship.

  3. Don’t let emotions stack up. Express to your partner that you’re not feeling the best, and take as much space and time as you need to do some self-reflection and regroup.

  4. When emotions rise during conversation, walk it off and take some deep breaths- pick things up when your emotions have cooled or schedule another time to talk it out. Don’t allow emotion to rule your conversations.

  5. Don’t keep count. Just because you took the trash out last, doesn’t mean it’s the other person’s turn this time around. Remember give 100, expect 0!

  6. Set healthy boundaries, and be clear on the consequences if boundaries are crossed.

  7. Try not to take things personal. Sometimes we aren’t in the best mood, it’s human! If you notice your significant other getting a little worked up, offer to give them space to work through it. That could be physically removing yourself from the room, or allowing your loved one to feel seen and heard by listening intently without judgment or criticism.

  8. Create and commit to Family Meetings. The reason for this is to get everyone (including children) on the same page with where the family is heading and the effort required to get there. Some meetings are daily, while others are weekly, monthly, quarterly, or yearly.

    Below is a list of meetings we currently are implementing with great success:
    1. Daily Huddle
    2. Daily Reflection

    3. Weekly Reflection
    4. Weekly Finance
    5. Weekly Timeblock
    6. Weekly Book Club
    7. Weekly 80/20 Analysis

    8. Monthly Reflection
    9. Monthly Finance

    10. Quarterly Reflection
    11. Quarterly Finance

    12. Yearly Reflection
    13. Yearly Finance
    14. Yearly Self-Analysis
    15. Yearly Goal Setting

  9. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
    1. Criticize: indicate faults in a disapproving way
    2. Condemn: express complete disapproval of, typically publicly
    3. Complain: express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something

  10. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

  11. Never show others that you are not interested in what they have to say.

  12. Don’t try to make your partner over.

  13. Pay little attentions (do the small things with no expectation or attention drawn to it).

  14. Be courteous (polite, respectful, considerate in manner).

  15. And lastly, keep things sexy!

Hope this list brought you some value! Do you have any relationship tips?! Comment below!


x Corie